When I went to transfer the photos from my phone, I found a few extra that I didn’t take… and this has me thinking…
that I ought to leave my phone out more often. And invite them to use the camera because seeing what they create it pretty incredible.
…..
These photos Crazy #1 took of herself make me laugh. I love how she starts out all serious and then it just goes downhill from there… sorta like dinnertime at our house.
It’s nearly summer, and the kids are already running wild with anticipation of lazy mornings and late evenings – the whole family seems to exhale and relax a little. And it’s for this reason alone that I try to get my family pictures taken in July.
I realize that it’s not the typical time people think to get their Christmas photos done, but for me it’s the most logical because this is when we truly are who we are. No one is worried about homework, what to pack for lunch, or school sports. Fast forward a few months and September brings a whole different family dynamic into view… a much more tense one… everyone is trying to settle back into the school routine, sports start up again, and parents have to hunker down to make sure everyone is on schedule and on task.
Fall is the craziest time of the year for most moms, so why is it that we choose to have our family photos taken then?
Several of the families I have photographed over the years have switched to having their family photos done earlier because they want to remove the stress around holiday cards. Which brings me to why I’m writing this article… I want all families to have a relaxing photo experience with no pressure or time table.
By removing the stress around family pictures, you give yourself room to breathe… and that looks amazing in print.
I would much rather get a holiday card filled with photos of my friends enjoying their lives – not huddled around an oak tree wearing sweaters and boots. Unless that’s what they normally do… then I totally want to see that!
I say forget what everyone else is doing and have your family pictures taken when you are most relaxed and most alive. For me, and many of my mama friends, the summer is the perfect time. Plus you don’t have the holiday card deadline looming over your head!
I’m now giving you permission to have fun in your family sessions and let the posed, stressful photo shoots go the way of the Cosby sweater or my giant 80′s bangs that still haunt me in my dreams.
And with that, I’ll share a little secret with you. I do a handful of holiday photo sessions for my existing clients. Once I announce, I book up quickly, but if I happen to have a space or two left, I’ll offer it to the first people on my wait list. Email me if you want me to add your name. No promises, but if there is an opening, I’ll slip you in. ;)
P.S. Another upside to getting your picture taken in the summer? A tan. Say no more… sign me up!
P.P.S. If you want to see an awesome photo of me and my super hip 80′s bangs, check out my Facebook page… it’s in there… somewhere.
SO SO LOVERLY as always!
When I arrived at the Greene’s home on the Peninsula, I was quietly overjoyed that their newest addition was still napping. There is something so pure and innocent about a sleeping child. Whenever I see my own kids sleeping, I think about more than just having a quiet household. When I see those sleeping babies I am reminded of possibility… theirs and mine.
Sitting on the ground, waiting for her to wake, I noticed the mirror on the underside of the mobile on her swing. It was similar to the mirror on the swing my own kids had, but I had never noticed how they looked in it. I didn’t slow down to peek at what they spend a lot of time looking at – their own reflection. I was grateful that I didn’t miss it this time and had a chance to show her parents what their little girl sees when she’s being lulled to sleep.
The world is a very different place from the eyes of a child. I believe we all need to take the time to get down onto a child’s level to experience life in the way that they do.
Her mom has several handmade, lace dresses that her grandma made for her when she was just a girl. Most of them are still too big, but this dress fit perfectly. What struck me most about this dress what how fragile it was, but her mom didn’t let that stop her from having her 11 month old wear it. She said that her grandma made the dresses to be warn, not kept in a closet. Such wonderful advice! Heirlooms should be used and honored, not tucked away and forgotten.
She is just learning to walk, and that taste of freedom makes all other forms of transportation unacceptable… including shoulder rides from her big brother. She spent the entire time trying to get back down to the ground. Bless his heart… he just let her wiggle and pull her way around. Even if it meant the occasional elbow to the nose or tiny baby dagger nails to the cheek. All girls need a big brother like this one.
She popped her head out of her ball pit to reveal the most elaborate head of staticky hair, and not only did her parents laugh along with her, but they were thrilled to have it documented. This secured a place in my heart for this family for an eternity. I want to surround myself with parents who see the perfection in the seemingly imperfect… life is much more enjoyable when you search for the lightness in the uncontrollable.
She prances along the sidewalk outside their home while her dad does his best to keep up. Seeing the dichotomy between his full grown feet and her tiny, demure, one-year old feet makes our responsibly as parents even more evident.
Not even a year old, this angelic little one commands your attention and will hold onto your heart. She’s entertaining and loveable. Feisty and expressive. But above all else, she is this family’s love.
P.S. My next photo class for moms has been announced! You can register (and get the details) HERE!
“Life is much more enjoyable when you search for the lightness in the uncontrollable.”
Ah, girl how did you know that this would put a lump in my throat this morning along with this priceless, yummy photos? how did i miss this session? So so beautiful, and girl, you can nail focus AND write!! :):)
happy wedsnesday!
xxx
k
When my son (Crazy #2) was a baby, he made diaper changing one of my biggest mommy battles. He flopped around like a fish out of water and kicked with far too much enthusiasm… the little punk would not sit still! To this day I sweat a little when I think of how I used to struggle to change a 6 month old’s diaper. And one diaper changing moment in particular stands out above all others…
I vividly remember struggling to maintain my cool with a cute, cuddly little chunk of a baby boy.
His laugh filled the room as he wiggled around on his changing pad, and his tiny tongue poked out as he repeatedly sprayed me with his baby raspberries.
To him, this was fun, and we were playing a game. To me, it was a job, and he was preventing me from doing it swiftly.
I paused and took a deep breath… then glanced around the room (for what, I don’t know… maybe an extra set of hands?) and caught sight of the green light on the baby monitor. Instantly I had a flash back to when my husband and I had overheard one of our neighbor’s phone conversations over our baby monitor. After we listened for a good 10 minutes (and after realizing that it was a fairly dull conversation), we decided to change frequencies… but not before realizing how easy it would be for someone else to listen to us, as well.
The memory of conversations being intercepted by a baby monitor gave me a jolt. What if someone COULD hear me right now? Would they hear the exhaustion and frustration in my voice? Would I sound like a total jerk?
This was a pivotal parenting moment for me, because I realized that when no one is watching, it’s easy to let our guard down and show our anxiety. But the second someone comes into ear shot, we become fully aware of how we are acting toward our kids. We take a breath. Focus on relaxing and then proceed.
I wanted to be THAT mom all of the time! So, from that point froward, I used the monitor to remind me of who I really am and what’s in my heart. No matter how tired or frustrated I was, I silently told myself that someone could see me.
After just a few months of doing this, I was able to regulate on my own without the help of the monitor metaphor. This realization caused be to become keenly aware of the mom I desperately wanted to be – I just needed a little nudge in the right direction.
In the end, that $45 baby monitor was the catalyst for one of my best tools for motherhood…. my mommy motto:
“Dance like no one is watching, and parent like someone is.”
P.S. We can’t forget that we really are being watched…by our kids. And their experience is far more important than what a stranger thinks.
P.P.S. I oddly miss the diaper changes now… mostly because now he’s no longer peeing in a diaper but rather peeing on the walls instead. Ahhh… motherhood really is glamorous, isn’t it? ;) Want more potty talk? You can read a little about my journey down the potty training road HERE.
I’ve got diapers to change over here. Come on over! I like your motto. Totally true.
Awe, I love this motto! I’m totally guilty of keeping way more control when others are around. I need to adopt this as well. Thanks for sharing!
Haha, Kiran! If I change diapers at your house, will you wipe down the bathroom walls in mine? ;)
Heather, i know! I’m so glad you know what i’m talking about. :)
Photographing small children is a bit like interval training. I’m either dashing around trying to keep up with quick little legs, or I’m sitting on the ground waiting for the next thing to happen. The younger the kids, the more I seem to wait.
Little ones have their own agenda, and they really don’t care what we have in mind. When it’s time to eat, it’s time to eat. And the world will have to stop until this new project is complete. It’s not like they’re suddenly going to say , “hey, I forgot you were trying to photograph me being awesome… let me finish this one last Cheerio so we can get back to business!” Nope. That never happens. And I’m grateful.
Their slowing down forces me to slow down. To pause. To look around while I wait. I take these lulls in my sessions to find that one photo…. the magical, layered photo that reveals a little more the longer you look at it.
Here is this Palo Alto Family’s One Photo:
The feet are where the crux of the magic lies. Both children have their signature pose. On the left, she has one foot up and one down. On mom’s right, he has his feet crossed. Two positions they seem to hold at all times throughout the day… no matter what they’re doing.
Now, layer on Dad working in the adjacent room – even though he’s not physically in the picture, he’s involved because this is what he sees when he walks out of his office. His wife, mother of his two wonderous children, is sitting in-between them, turning side to side as she alternates between helping each of them with their snacks. If we look at the floor we see the remaining evidence of their hunger. Which was soon lapped up by their two very loving, and mildly skittish, rescue dogs… yet another layer in the deeper story this picture tells.
This more than just a photo of cute, dangling feet. This is history. Their history. So much is said in one photo. So much to recall and remember. I’m happy to sit and wait for children to finish eating, if I am granted access to moments like this. My heart is happy. :)
I got my first iPhone back in 2008, and it changed my life. Not only was I suddenly super hip, but this slick, magical, handheld box from the technology Gods made me insanely connected. I was always checking email (not because I was expecting an email, mind you, but merely because I could check email), or I was updating Facebook and Twitter from my fancy social device. Oh yes, and I chatted on it, too. I called pretty much anyone who would talk to me… as long as they were on the same carrier as I was.
Fast forward a few years and my ridiculously connected life looked a little like this: my cell phone was always with me, resting on the kitchen counter was my iPad with a shiny new cover (What? You don’t buy a new one every couple of months because they’re pretty?), a laptop whirring in the living room, and my home office computer springing to life every time someone walked by (almost as if beckoning me to come visit Amazon.com or Zappos). If you wanted to talk, I was just a phone call away… or a text… or an email… or a FB post… or a twitter message.
I was clearly addicted to being connected… that is, until last fall.
At the end of the summer last year, I took my oldest, Crazy #1, shopping for back to school clothes. We were actually able to visit a plethora of clothing stores without her passing out from boredom (very unlike her dad). We spent a few hours bopping around downtown Walnut Creek’s Broadway Plaza and having some serious mommy-daughter time, and then stopped at Auntie Anne’s for a gluten filled treat for my daughter.
After sitting down for a few minutes I picked up my phone to check in… you know, in case something incredibly important happened between now and the last time I checked it 15 minutes ago.
But something caused me to put my phone down. I’m not sure what it was… maybe it was the sight of my growing daughter, happily munching on her butter laden soft pretzel sticks, and the realization that this is our time together – I needed to be here with her… not on my phone.
I asked her if it was okay that I check my email. She looked up at me, butter dripping down her wrist, and said “no.”
I think my heart skipped several beats because it took me a moment to process what just happened. Did she say, “no”?
OMG. She did! I was stunned and slowly dropped my phone back into my purse. Upon seeing this, she got up, quietly drifted over to me and gave me a deep, lingering hug. OMG. Did she just give me a hug for putting my phone away?
It took everything I had not to start crying right there. My crazy, shopaholic daughter cared if I check my phone. She cares if I’m sitting with her at the table and not talking to her. Holy cow. That’s it, isn’t it? Of COURSE she cares if I’m engaged with her. Of COURSE she cares that I talk with her and not bow my head and click away on my phone chatting with people several states away on Facebook. Who wouldn’t?
Think about it… how annoyed do we get with other adults who do that to us? And here we are, everyday, tapping away on our cell phones and putting a barrier in between us and our kids. The thought of what it must feel like pains me. She’s little. She’s sitting there thinking we’re on a special date together, and I have the audacity to bust out my phone on the off chance that I got a text message from my BFF? Who, I might add, has kids of her own and would totally understand if I didn’t get back to her right away.
Sadly, I never stopped long enough to put myself in my kid’s shoes. But ever since our Auntie Anne’s date last fall, I declared my home a cell-phone-free zone during our peak after school hours and will regularly leave my phone at home if we go out.
If you take just a moment and ask yourself how you’re affecting your kids, you’ll likely realize the same thing I did… it’s not worth it.
It. Can. Wait.
There are very few things that are more important than bonding with our kids right now. And if something else is more important, the person trying to get a hold of you isn’t going to email, are they? They’ll call. Twice. I promise. :)
P.S. Now when my kids see my phone come out of my purse, they instantly ask if I’m going to take a picture… I think I prefer it that way.
P.P.S. This is the dress Crazy #1 tried to get me to buy as one of her back to school outfits… not only is it a million sizes too large for her, it really wouldn’t fly at her school. Apparently they have “wardrobe rules”. I’m fairly certain a frilly, strapless gown would fall into the do-not-wear-ever-category.
Jennifer…there are tears in my eyes right now! While, I do not have kids, I too was “too connected and too accessible.” I work and travel a lot. I decided that my husband deserved my attention without the “connectivity.” I love this story!
So…if you need me, email me. *Wink Wink.” xoxo
Ah Tracy, you’re so sweet… and smart. :) I emailed you last night. ;)
I just found this post last night thank you for this!! I needed to read it!
Thank you, Ashley!
I’m so happy it helped you! Putting my phone down is something I’m still working on, but wow have things changed since I’ve been trying. :)
perfectly said, Jen! thanks, friend!
keri bryant - She is way beyond cute. Don’t you LOVE when they do this?
My little baby boy turns 8 today and it is killling me. Not sure how this happened in the few blinks of an eye. You go love on this girl before she turns 16 and doesnt speak to you..although pretty sure that wont happen :)
hugs to you, friend!
K